What our family experienced as a result of this disease is probably similar to what many families living in inner-city Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, experienced during the height of the cocaine epidemic of the 1980s and 1990s. It was a dark and difficult time as the streets of predominately black urban communities all over the country were flooded with cocaine and crack cocaine. The stigma associated with drug addiction was formidable and unforgiving. There was little or no compassion for the many young black men and women who found themselves bound by addiction.

            We lived in constant fear that my big brother, whom I absolutely loved and adored, would either be physically harmed, arrested or even worse. Today, he remembers a near-fatal fight in a dark alleyway over a drug purchase that went bad, a gun was drawn and a struggle ensued. That night, my big brother’s life could have been lost and my life would have been shattered forever.

            I am the youngest of four children born and raised in a Christian household. My father was a pastor, so we were referred to as “PKs” (pastor’s kids). While we had challenges like any other family, we knew we were loved by our parents. We were sheltered in some ways, spending much of our time having prayer and Bible devotion in our home and attending church services.

          My brother was just as active in church and activities as any other “PK”  but addiction has no respect for anyone. It does not care how often you attend church, what faith you are, what race you are or how much money you have. Addiction can affect anyone.

            As we grapple with finding solutions and strategies to address this serious disease that is affecting more and more people of all ages, we faith leaders must keep this fact in mind. When we do, we can minister to and help those struggling with addiction more effectively because we see them as valuable and worthy of our love, compassion and support. This chosen view also helps to reduce the stigma around drug addiction which keeps people isolated and riddled with guilt and shame.

            We must relate to one another in a way that honors and respects our Creator. We must understand that it is God who created humankind and anything God does is righteous and good. Therefore, each of us has great value regardless of the circumstances we may find ourselves in.

            Our inherent worth, even during the worst of times doesn’t change. This remains true for people who struggle with addiction to drugs. This remained true for my big brother.

            Today, my brother no longer uses drugs. He has been free from addiction for more than 30 years. The people around my brother never lost sight of his great value and worth.

            My brother is a pastor and he now seeks to help others with all the life challenges that they experience. When we see people struggling with addiction or any other ailment, we look at them through eyes of compassion. Because when your brother is struggling, I see my brother. Your brother is my brother.

            When we look at the past, doing so illuminates the present. Each of us has to look back at our painful past to be more fully aware and functioning human beings.  “Few people want to do the hard work of looking back.”  as Scazzero puts it, “What has gone before us is not our destiny.” But understanding our past can possibly prepare us for a better destiny.

          How do we look back? Doing a family genogram is a great way to investigate our past. The genogram is a simple family tree that allows a person to look back over two to three generations. It can help us to understand ourselves and our past. It leads us to discover our emotional baggage. Keep this in mind: none of us has a “clean” genogram. The more we know about our families, the more we know about ourselves. Further, as we look back, we can do so under the guidance of mature friends, mentors, spiritual directors, counselors or therapists.

          I had the opportunity to look back at my life through Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). I recently completed four units of CPE and this intensive process challenged me to reflect upon how I was nurtured, how I dealt with conflict, my disappointments, joys and troubling times. Looking back, I thought about my uncle who was an alcoholic. I remember him approaching me and begging for money so that he could get a drink. I also had another close relative who drank heavily most of his life. I recalled the sad details of how his drinking impacted our family over the years. Addiction is not just an individual’s disease. It is a family disease.

            In a public setting, I would be vague about my disease. I talked about “being in a 12 step program”, but I would say little else. I have always believed that the disease of alcoholism doesn’t define me. It is a condition that I have and I will have it the rest of my life. As recently as last night, I had a dream about going into a bar and drinking a Jack and Coke! Thank God that was a dream because I have 28 years of continuous sobriety from alcoholism…and I haven’t had a hangover in 28 years, either.

            I have a different approach to speaking about my disease in public today. By talking openly and personally about it, I realize that I’m helping to erase the powerful stigma around addiction. I now understand that the more transparent I can be about my journey through alcoholism and my recovery,  the more helpful I can be — not only to people in my community who are struggling personally, but also to the people who love them. If the preacher is open about his own addiction, I hope that my openness will encourage others to talk about their own struggle and get the help that will make their lives better.

            A person with the disease of addiction is not a criminal. She or he is a person who has a serious issue and there is help in our community and in our communities of faith. If I could get sober, anyone can.